Dear Today:
I am so sorry to hear your story. As for your husband, he is treating you with disdain. He is showing contempt towards you in your relationship with him.
An excellent book to help you navigate through what must be incredibly muddled feelings is Why Marriages Succeed Or Fail by John Gottman, Ph.D. He does incredible research into relationships at the University of Washington-Seattle.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gottman
Part of Gottman's theory states that there are four major emotional reactions that are destructive to a marriage: defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt. Among these four, Gottman considers contempt the most important of them all. [ 7 ]